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Current Playlist...

+ My extremely uncoordinated YT music playlist

Recently...

Played

  • Baldur's Gate 3
  • Lethal Company

Watched

Listened

  • Breakcore
  • Dungeon synth
  • Metal (per usual)
  • Alt (also per usual)

Welcome, Traveller...

Hiiii I'm Nick! I've been around neocities since late 2020 - I decided to learn how to write html and css during lockdown, and have made this main site along with a couple others, WHITEDESERT and unworld ( and some secret ones ;] ). I do have social media and am most active on my tumblr, but neocities will always be my favorite place on the web <3

I change my site layout as my interests evolve. This one is inspired by plastiboo's art, dimden's site, dungeon synth, and winter in my homestate.

I'm an illustrator, and you can find a directory of my OCs as well as a gallery of my work on this site! I try to keep it up to date as much as I can.

About...

He/Him | Transgay | 22 | White | USA

Interests

  • Drawing, writing, coding
  • Soulsborne
  • DND
  • Digital and analog horror
  • Weirdcore and liminal spaces

Dislikes

  • Fall weather
  • AI-generated "art" and NFTs
  • Cars

Major Updates...

DEC 27TH, 2023: Added more sections to the sitemap page.

DEC 26TH, 2023: Added another notebook entry, plus some more article links.

DEC 18TH, 2023: Added a section for stuff I've come across around the web and wanna save, plus a wishlist section.

DEC 17TH, 2023: Okay so it's been like a year since I've written anything in this updates section, but I HAVE been doing stuff on this site since then! Everything preceeding this updated is. well. obviously outdated, but even MORE outdated because I totally changed my layout again! It's a neverending cycle and I've come to terms with that.

DEC 4TH, 2022: Added a blog page! Plus some new character stuff a while ago in my characters page!

SEPT 1ST, 2022: Optimized most stuff for mobile and firefox to the best of my ability. I fucking hate coding for firefox lmao but it's objectively a better browser than chrome so..

JUN 29TH, 2022: GODS. I COMPLETELY REDID MY CHARACTER PAGES. AGAIN. As well as my gallery and eventually I'll finish up my commissions page again. but damn. That took so long I'd appreciate it if ya'll looked at it lmao.

JAN 6th, 2022: Sir Greaves gave me a TON of help (he did all the JS) for my new art page! If you like wholesome Dark Souls streams/videos you'll like his channel soooo go check it out c:<

JAN 5TH, 2022: This site is now more optimized for mobile babeeeeey.

DEC 7TH, 2021: The Dark Souls shrine is live! Man I had a lot of fun with it. I just hope everything is able to load properly lmao.

DEC 4TH, 2021: Gods I guess I'll never be fully satisfied with this site lmao. I was hesitant to redo this yet again since I really liked the old layout, and it took forever, but I have all of my old sites backed up so they're not like lost or anything. Also I didn't feel like digging through my old, jumbled code just to change some text.

Last updated: 12/27/2023

Major Projects Overview...

Reclaimed
Originally a concept for a Soulslike that I'm converting to a DND campaign! The setting is a few hundred years after a series of apocalyptic natural disasters that wiped out most of humanity. The people of Reclaimed's world have rebuilt small civilizations, but there's still plenty of danger both outside and inside city walls. Political tension, the gods, and a strange curse known as "Reclamation" have divided the world into factions. The players will learn a lot about the different factions, the past, and what the truth behind Reclamation is - what they do with this knowledge could save the world, or doom it.


From Ashes to Empires
This was my main OC story for quite a while, but after trouble with rewrites and not really having time or motivation for said rewrites, it's kinda in limbo. I might revive it someday. FATE's latest rendition was an alternate Earth with a mid-century setting, since I had a strong interest in mid-century technology. It followed 4 main characters through the beginning, middle, and end of a war - originally for resources, and then for freedom from one of said 4 character's dictatorship.


WHITEDESERT
My ongoing web horror fansite! It's really just a place for me to show off any horror or horror-adjacent media I enjoy. No, I have not played all or even most of the games on the site. I just watch a lot of playthroughs. You can suggest any horror media you'd like, but I can't guarantee I'll actually put it on the site.

My Favorite (Digital) Artists...

GinjaNinjaOwO - Nostalgia from being a Warrior Cats kid + their art is wonderfully bubbly and fun :]

grendel-menz - Beautiful poetry and art, yes I've cried while reading some of their poems what of it

littlestpersimmon - Cozy southeast asian fantasy illustrations, absolutely gorgeous colors and textures

plastiboo - Their illustrations are so fucking haunting I adore them

unorcadox - hehe weirdcore go brrrrrr

velnna - Something about their use of angles makes me rabid

My Favorite Musicians/Bands...

clipping. - I don't know what it is about music that makes you feel like you got thrown through a glass window but I love it

Des Rocs - I like literally all of their songs somehow

Disturbed - Nostalgia tbh, also The Vengeful One never gets old

Ghost - I like feeling blasphemous

In This Moment - How does she do that with her voice

Lord Huron - Downright otherworldly, great for long drives at night

My Chemical Romance - I'm gay what do you expect

Nonemissing - fucks HARD, especially while high

The Mars Volta - Got me into really long songs. I listened to Day of the Baphomets on repeat for like a week straight after I first heard it

Will Wood - The most unhinged but also upbeat songs I've ever heard

Web Collections...

One big collection of things I've found around the web and want to save for some reason or another. I used to just throw links into my notes app, but I always inevitably forget about the stuff I've put in there. All of the artworks are extremely low-quality JPGs, and everything links back to the original post! The goal is not to claim any of this as my own, but to save it to look at it later because I really like it. A lot of it is platiboo's stuff at the moment lol.


- Music -

vermis ambience - shade sanctum.mp3 | vermis ambience - princess.mp3 | vermis ambience - aspect of the dream.mp3 | memory.mp3 | dream.mp3 | moon vision.mp3 | Aspicio Omniam Music | Gwyn's Theme (10 hrs, stormy) | Changgwi (RU Cover) | Animal Cannibal


- Illustrations -


- Videos -


- Miscellaneous Posts -

Social Media...

Tumblr | YouTube | Instagram

Site Goals...

  • Fill out homepage as much as possible
  • Make graphics (drawings) for site
  • Add more to the sitemap page

Gaza E-sims | Palestine News

2024 Goals...

  • Open online shop
  • Table at at least 2 cons
  • Run the Waterdeep Dragon Heist campaign
  • Find a roommate
  • Carpal tunnel surgery :pensive:

Wishlist...

This isn't like a "hey buy this for me :)" list, it's just for my own reference and for fun

My Fave Sites...

Fuck Ads...

Worldbuilding...

I've been using a lot of resources to help worldbuild Reclaimed for a DND game, some are in-browser and some are one time payments. Fuck subscripton models I REFUSE to subscribe to anything if there's an alternative.

  • Azgaar's Fantasy Map Generator - (FREE) Does exactly what it says in the title. Extremely in-depth for a free program!
  • Watabou's Procgen Arcana - (FREE) I mainly use the city generator, but all of these are fun to play with!
  • Dungeondraft - (PAID) Lets you easily design top-down maps for DND
  • Twine - (FREE) Fun to play around with and make dialogue trees. Not super useful to me anymore, but it's still a good resource
  • Town Name Generator - I don't know how accurate this is but boy is it fun to play with

Writing...

Reclaimed

Other

  • Unworld - Short Horror Story (WIP)

From Ashes to Empires

*From Ashes to Empires (FATE) most likely will never be finished, and I'm not a huge fan of how the chapters I have were turning out, but I'm going to keep it up anyway since I don't see any reason not to.

Also - keep in mind I'm very much not a professional writer, this is just a hobby!


- Notebook -

1/1/2024

Notes from today


yknow there's something so beautiful about the midwest in midwinter, even when there’s no snow. the trees are dusty brown, skeletal fingers and the sky is a gray blanket. it feels like everything has slowed to a crawl in the purgatory between xmas and new years. feels like i’m dying and will be reborn once the new year hits—or at least once i leave home for college again. i always get super anxious for a little while after coming back to a place whether it’s home or college, maybe dying has something to do with it


i fucking hate having newly discovered abandonment issues because it means even if someone tells me they love me i’m still horrendously afraid of losing them one day for ANY and every reason ever

12/26/2023

I'm fully convinced artists that also support AI image generators don't actually care about their or anyone else's art lmao. Regardless of whether someone thinks AI images are art or not (and even tho I don't think AI images are art, I know it's impossible to prove that objectively), the generation models we have right now steal what they use to create their images. I've seen self-proclaimed leftists say AI image generators are good actually and if you think they aren't then you're not a leftist. which is insane to me bc... like... major corporations are using AI in order to avoid paying artists. How is being against that not leftist?? And even if it wasn't major corps and was just random people, it would still be pretty shitty! Stealing a creator's work (claiming it as your own, using it without credit and/or against the creator's will) is shitty. Why are we suddenly part of the bourgeoise (yes I've seen someone say this completely unironically) for not being okay with that?

If AI image generators didn't use stolen art then yeah that'd probably be fine. I think it'd be good for anything generated with AI to still be disclosed as such though, since AI image generation is in no way the same process as drawing, painting, photography, etc. I think this matters because of things like jobs in the industry and art competitions - AI should never replace an actual artist's job given that we still need jobs to survive.

I've also seen physically disabled people used as talking points in a lot of discussions surrounding AI generated images. I'm not severely physically disabled - though I do have carpal tunnel and occasionally tendinitis so I'm not 100% abled - so I won't say much on this. There are some disabled people who can still draw/paint/etc, and there are some that can't. I think it would be cool to have an ethical (not stolen art lol) generation model for disabled people to generate images with. Really don't see anything wrong with that. Regardless, I don't even think severely disabled people are the biggest users of OR target demographic of AI image generators, and more often than not they seem to be used as "gotchas."

To be extra clear, I'm not advocating for tighter copyright laws. That likely would just make it easier for corporations like disney to fuck over anyone who breathes one of their characters' names online, and do very little to help artists. I also believe that all art, ideally, should be free to view and iterate upon while being respectful to the original artist(s) (yknow just like. giving proper credit and not purposefully trying to be a dick to anybody). This is kinda at odds with people who post exclusive stuff like on patreon or onlyfans, etc, which is why I said ideally. Ideally, artists wouldn't even have to sell our art. My art is all already free to view, but I'd also love to hand out my keychains, prints, and stickers for free because seeing other people enjoy my art makes me really happy! Anyway this is kinda a tangent - what I'm saying is that AI image genration sucks right now because artists still need to make a living from their art to. well. live.

Maybe one day AI image generators will be like. Not terrible. But until then fuck all of them lmao.

12/18/2023

My tags on this post:
#even the cis passing trans guys still experience transphobia
#like bigots do Not care if you’ve had ‘all the surgeries’ if they find out you’re trans.. they’re still gonna be bigoted
#also i pass like 99% of the time but i still gotta go to the gynecologist. and it’s always terrifying
#luckily my new gynecologist is wonderful (and might be trans herself idk)
#but my old one straight up traumatized me lmfao
#and also like. said cis passing trans guys still gotta deal with medical transphobia and ppl seem to forget that
#while simultaneously forgetting that non-cis passing trans guys exist
#ppl really do think the moment u come out as a trans man you’re basically cis man lite

I really don't like being read as a cis man tbh, it feels like misgendering cause like... i do Not have the same life experience as them. My transition goals aren't "look like a cis man" they're "the way I want to look happens to be how a lot of cis men look" do u get me. I never want to be stealth bc it feels Wrong (not in a moral way but in a way similar to gender dysphoria). However, I do think ppl who say "passing privilege isn't real" are misguided because it kinda is real (i agree w/ the statement that trans men don't experience male privilege in the same way cis men do tho). Like, I'm gendered correctly the vast majority of the time, I generally don't have to worry about being harassed the same way people perceived as non-cishet men are, and people are generally more willing to listen to what I have to say than they used to be. But like. That's kinda all I've personally noticed (non-negatively) change regarding the way others treat me. Obtaining testosterone was absolute hell and going to any (yes, ANY) doctor's appointment is nerve-wracking. Like can we think for a moment how it feels to have a beard and somewhat deep voice and be sitting in a gynecologist's waiting room? Also I always wait until I'm alone in public bathrooms to actually use them because I'm terrified someone is gonna realize I gotta sit down (yes, this has happened before) and they'll get confrontational. This is especially bad when I drive thru Tennesse on my way to uni, since it's technically not legal for me to use the men's restroom there. Being a cis woman most definitely would be MUCH easier.

*Also the comments on that post at the time of writing this are actually pretty insightful and I'd reccomend reading them.

Articles...

Links to articles I've read that I want to share and/or save


Palestine

LGBT

Miscellaneous

Other Writing...

Poems, posts, etc

Misc Links...

Sitemap...

Credits...

My Webdev Folder...

Images

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